Man, Get Her a Bell Telephone

That you Fondhusband?  This is Clause, – S. Clause. Wondering what to get your wife for Christmas? Suppose we have a telephone put in for her?

You and I know its wonderful usefulness in the rush of everyday business, but in the home – why man, I’m surprised you’ve been without it so long.  It’ll make life much more pleasant for your wife and she’ll always have things ready on time.

Take down your Bell Receiver and get Filbert 2790 this afternoon. The service costs a trifle, you know, and it’s paid for monthly.

Filbert 2790

To any 21st century “Fondhusbands” still struggling to purchase their wives and families the perfect Christmas gift we say: what have you been doing for the last month? And, as it turns out, 100 years later buying the latest electronic is still in fashion.  According to one list, electronics are actually dominating the best selling gifts this holiday season.  The list includes: the 4th Generation Apple iPod, the Palm Pixi Plus Verizon Cell Phone, the Apple Macbook Pro and the Amazon Kindle.   In fact, only two of the ten gifts are not electronic: the Burberry Brit and Love by by Sex in the City (we were surprised by this too.. apparently people really love their cologne) and the Amazon Gift Card (which is probably used for buying e-books for tablets… hence, this is essentially a debit card for electronics and is therefore, basically an electronic itself). This year it seems that Santa’s sleigh will be packed with some high tech gifts, making it a very 21st century holiday season.

To paraphrase a mentor of Spiderman, “With great gadgets comes great responsibility”.  Just remember, when you’re clearing the way for your new techy presents, be sure to properly dispose of last year’s electronic goodies – or you may get coal instead of the iPhone5 in Christmas 2012.  As we’ve reported in the past, the e- waste problem can zap holiday spirit.  About 400 million tons of e- waste is created every year, resulting in devastating health effects on entire communities.  Given the shorter and shorter lifespan of electronics – i.e., how frequently we replace them (especially around the holidays) – it is likely the amount of e-waste will increase in the future. Unless, we do something about it.  Is it too early to start talking about New Year’s Resolutions?  For now, visit www.yourenew.com to learn how you can sell your old electronics for reuse or recycling.  Do it before Christmas and use the cash towards holiday shopping. Tis’ the season to update your wife’s Filbert 2790.

#5 Pocket Calculator — c. 1970.  You think we’re joking, but we’re not.

#4 Wrist watches — including this $1.5 million beauty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, now we’re joking. YouRenew has yet to receive a wristwatch worth more than 50 cents.

#3 Orange juice squeezer — great addition to the office kitchen.

Do you or your neighbors trash everything with no shame- including electronics? A recent law passed in Illinois will outlaw throwing away electronics, beginning January 2012.  Consumers will be forced to find a way to recycle them instead. Seems like an easy step towards a greener future, but recycling electronics is a still a new age phenomenon.

In an informal survey of some of my friends, I discovered that about 90% of them did not recycle electronics. Many cited the inconvenience of finding a vendor, others admitted they were too lazy, still others had no idea it was even possible. What happens to their old electronics? For the most part they sit around, gathering dust.  This unscientific research still points towards one conclusion: very few people seem to know that electronic recycling is the way of the future. Even if they do, they don’t realize just how easy it can be (insert plug for YouRenew here). As our world becomes more and more technology- dependent and as our households accumulate more and more electronic waste, it will become imperative to learn how to recycle these gadgets.  Not doing so could jeopardize our environment and our personal health.  Society must begin thinking about how to spread awareness of responsible electronic recycling, and how to make it accessible to all individuals.  How do we get the word out?

Do we reform classroom syllabi? Or, do we start trending #electronicrecycling on Twitter? How do we make it easy to do?  Do we create recycling bins for electronics right next to the ones for bottles and paper? Or, do we need a state law to get us motivated?

A few of our favorite things: job growth, recycling, and a healthy environment.

Republicans seeking an edge in the umpteenth GOP debate may want to read a recently published report by the National Resources Defense Council.  The environmental action group has released findings indicating that in going green we can make green.  More specifically, investing in national recycling strategies will stimulate long- term job creation.  “Hallelujah!” says a country facing a 9% unemployment rate.  (Hint: that country is the United States of America.)

According to the report, throwing things away (creating waste) does not require a ton of human resources; it’s not “labor intensive”.  You only need one or two dudes (relatively speaking) to get the job done. Generally, when you throw something away, the garbage truck picks it up, and it sits in a dump.  The report goes on to astutely point out that recycling requires a lot more minds at work: many different things can happen to a product that is recycled depending on what that product is.  Recycling is labor intensive.  To this end, in a moment of inspiration, the report renames the “waste sector” into the “materials management sector”.

Whoa!!

In the “Green Economy Scenario”, which imagines what would happen if America became a recycling maven and recycled 75% of its trash, by 2030 this recycling would be directly responsible for (drum roll): 2,347,000 jobs.

Trying to conceptualize this number? This is nearly 1.5 million jobs more than in 2008, when we were in the midst of economic crises.  These jobs would employ almost half of those who were considered long- term unemployed in October 2011.

By the way, according to some reports, unless we act fast 2012 could turn out to be 2008 Part II.  The timing of the report and the report’s findings beg for policy reform at the federal level: organizing a national movement towards recycling and recycling domestically will help stimulate job growth.  The icing on the cake? As if all this moolah wasn’t good enough, recycling 75% of America’s waste would dramatically reduce carbon emissions. In fact, in the 2030 utopia it would be the equivalent of removing (another drum roll): 50,000,000 cars.

So, the perks of recycling: domestic job growth, improved air quality and – don’t forget – some global r-e-s-p-e-c-t for our forward innovative policy making.

God bless America.